Call Us Now
Email Us Now
What Is Parental Alienation?
Divorce has been identified as one of life’s most stressful events, and it’s even more so when children and custody are involved. Because the parents are at odds with each other but must still communicate regarding the children, there are times when one of the parents acts out their frustration and tries to develop a wedge between the children and the other parent. This is known as parent alienation. It’s meant to cause the children not to want anything to do with the other parent or forcibly keep them from the other parent.
But as California family courts know, in most cases, the child benefits greatly from having both parents in their lives (with the obvious exception of abuse or neglect). That’s why the courts prefer to award joint custody so that the child will have both parents involved in their lives.
What Could Be Interpreted as Parental Alienation?
There are many ways parental alienation can occur. This is not a definitive list but is meant to provide some examples. If you wonder if any behavior you’ve witnessed may contribute to parental alienation, contact an experienced family law attorney as soon as possible to discuss your options.
- One parent lies to the child about the other parent. That can include lies about the other parent being abusive, not legally having any custodial rights, or not paying child support.
- One parent frequently makes critical comments to the child about the other parent. These comments can be about their appearance, habits, or ability to earn a living, but in general, they shouldn’t be shared with a child.
- One parent refuses to let the child see or visit with the other parent. They even go so far as to tell the other parent that the child doesn’t want to see them.
What Is Needed to Prove Parental Alienation in a Custody Dispute?
It’s not enough to tell the court you believe the other parent is engaging in parental alienation tactics. The court will expect some proof. Several types of evidence can help support the case.
Professional Evaluators
Professional evaluators include therapists, psychologists, or psychiatrists who have been trained in how to interview and evaluate children for signs of alienation. They may also work with parents. Their testimony may be able to pinpoint specific alienation actions as well as the current and future behavioral and psychological damage it can cause to a child.
Eyewitnesses
This may be a large group, including everyone from other family members to neighbors, parents of the child’s friends, teachers, sports coaches, and faith leaders who spend time with the family. Any of these may have witnessed one parent speaking ill of the other parent to the child or had the child repeat something that the parent said.
Records
Save any written communication between the parents that talks about any aspect of the children. If there are videos or photos that indicate signs of alienation, those are helpful, too. Get screenshots of social media posts that disparage you as a parent (from the other parent or from that parent’s friends or family). If you’ve been denied visitation when it was your turn for any reason, keep written records of that and present them as evidence along with the legal papers you file with the Court detailing the custody and visitation requirements. It may also help to keep a daily journal where you note anything relevant, along with the date and time.
Child Interviews
Note that this should be done with a trained professional, such as a child therapist. The person conducting the interview needs to be neutral and calm. In those situations, the child may open up about their feelings about each parent and provide potential evidence. In southern California, most of the time you have to request a Court order to get permission for the child to be interviewed by the Court mediator.
Doctor and School Records
These may show evidence that the child’s health or behavior has been adversely affected. The child may also confide in a trusted adult, such as a teacher. Even if they don’t, someone who knows the child well in a school setting may note changes in behavior and demeanor that may be related to the alienation.
It’s crucial to understand that not every behavioral change in a child may be related to parental alienation. Children are sensitive to many situations and may be reacting to problems at school, with friends or siblings, or just coping with the divorce. When in doubt, talk to a doctor or therapist who can help evaluate the child and identify the root causes of stress.
How Can Parental Alienation Affect the Child?
There can be many psychological consequences for a child subjected to parental alienation. Note that a medical professional, such as a doctor or therapist, should handle these. The child may show signs of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, lack of trust in many people, and even self-destructive behavior. It’s vital that a child demonstrating any of these behaviors access medical or psychological care as soon as possible.
What Should I Do if I Think My Ex is Trying to Alienate My Children From Me?
Call Khosroabadi & Hill, APC, at 858-240-2093 for a free consultation. This is a serious situation and one that can be frustrating and stressful for you. Our team of experienced, knowledgeable child custody attorneys can review your case for evidence of parental alienation and help you understand what your options are. We know that being part of your children’s lives is vitally important to you, and we’re here to help you protect that.
